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I come from a small village. Ten years ago, I had a family in the village with my father, grandmother, and a lively me. Even though it was not complete, but it was a warm family. My father worked very hard in the farm to support the family while grandma stayed at home to cook and clean. I was able to go to school every day without care of life. It lasted until I was in my 3rd grade.
My father was found to be in late-stage of having cancer. He had been working hard without being able to have his physical well check. When he finally had the check-up, we learned that it was a terminal disease. The doctors told him he had one month to live. When I learned of this news, I felt the world was crumbling down and I was hopeless. It was a shock to us that the next day, my father passed away. His passing was very difficult for a nine-year-old child. My father had overworked because he had the burden of supporting the family. My grandmother was not in good health as she often was bedridden and that was another medical expense on dad’s shoulders. He also had to pay for me to go to school. All three of us were supported by his meager income. He couldn’t afford to go see a doctor soon enough to save his life. Now he had passed. There was only my grandma who was over 80 years old and me, 9 years old. I had to take care of my grandma. I got up very early in the morning and made breakfast, then fed my grandma, cleaned up everything, went to school; came home to make lunch, fed grandma again, did my homework; and repeated the same thing for dinner. This continued for about three months and my grandmother passed away. Within only one year, two of my closest family members who loved me left this world. The hard reality of life took away my smile, laughter, and innocence. My childhood ended. I saw other children going home with their father and mother every day, but the lonely me, walked home by myself. When I came home, it was dark and cold. No one was at home to greet me, only myself in the room. I was so afraid of dark so I turned on all the light when it got dark. I always awoke because of nightmare in the middle of the night. Since I was still young and didn’t know how to take care of myself, I became very ill.
The villagers took pity on me and they started to take care of me by bringing food to me and taking me to their homes. They themselves were not rich. They had their own children and they depended on farm work to support their family. I became another burden to them eventually.
At school, I felt so humiliated because kids at school made fun of me for having no parents. I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt like I lost a supporting arm. When my dad was still alive, I fought with kids at school when they made fun of me for having no mother because I felt my dad would be there for me, but now, I had nobody to stand behind me.
In 2002, my aunt found out about an orphanage and sent me there later on. There were many other children who were like me. I lived with them. We went to school together, came back together after school, and played together. No one dared to make fun of me anymore. However, I still had an inferiority complex because I felt I was not like the other normal children. I had no sense of security. I felt I was stupid and couldn’t open myself up easily. I didn’t like talking to others. After coming to the orphanage, I came to know many aunties and uncles from America who are so loving and kind. There was an American family who sponsored me. They loved me as I was. They considered me as part of their family. They sent me gifts during holiday seasons and on my birthday. It was the first time when I received gift. I was so moved. This family came to visit me all the way from America which also touched my heart deeply. Even though we are not of the same nationality, nor are we related by blood, yet our hearts bonded together because of God’s love. God allowed us to be in a family regardless of our nationality. I knew God had chosen me because He loved me. I came to know God. I learned that God loved me unconditionally and He also blessed me abundantly.
August of 2005, I came to the orphanage in Beijing. There were eight other orphans who came with me to join the other orphans. Many of them were younger than me, but had the same tragic background as mine. There were some who were in worse situation than me. Knowing more of those children, I felt I was still luckier. Gradually I became more and more optimistic. I began to care for the younger brothers and sisters at the orphanage, I helped them wash their clothes and clean up. Since God loves me I should love other younger children too.
I began attending middle school in Beijing. Students in Beijing start learning English in elementary school, but I was in a village school where no English was taught. My English language was zero. Teachers at school encouraged me to study hard and they helped me catch up. I eventually liked learning English and got a satisfactory score in my first mid-term exam. My teacher gave me complement, but I didn’t feel satisfied because other students my age had made it to top three in the class. I was behind them because I didn’t have a firm foundation.
There were nine of us who attended middle school. The orphanage sent us to and from school in a van which made other students jealous. We ate very well at the orphanage. There were three courses and a soup for every meal. I felt very fortunate for even if my dad was still alive, I won’t be able to have such good care. I know there are many other children who couldn’t dream of living like us. The orphanage organized field trips during holiday season. We got to visit the Forbidden City, Tian An Meng Square, the Great Wall, and many other tourist attractions. What a blessing that is! We had fruit and snack besides three meals a day. Sometimes visitors from overseas brought special goodies for us. We got to enjoy many things which other normal children who have parents may not even have the opportunity to. Therefore I know we are blessed because we are special.
Time went by so fast. Three years of middle school came to an end. Since I came from the village I couldn’t go to high school in Beijing. I went to a vocational school in Hebei to study elementary education. I studied very hard and I maintained top three ranking for the entire three years of my training. I also won scholarship twice. When I went back to the orphanage for break or holiday, I always came back with bags full of fruits and snack. The house parents at the orphanage cared for me very much. They knew I lived off campus and didn’t have fruits or good food at the dorm so they always took care me by supplying me with plenty. I am very touched by knowing there are so many people who care for me. I have many friends. I learned how to live harmoniously with others. When I was young I didn’t know how important it is to learn. Now I regret I didn’t try harder when I was young.
After I graduated from vocational school in 2010, I came to work at the Angels Kindergarten in Fangshan. While I worked here, I continued to take some college courses. My American sponsor continued to care for me and kept in touch with me for ten years. Everywhere I went, they followed me by sending me letters and gifts. We truly are one family. I am so blessed. I want to learn from those who help me so I can help other needy people too. Even though I am working, but I also am a student. I have to pay my tuition, but I will try my best to give all I can to help others.
I actually see my shortcoming in my work. Due to my childhood experience, I still lack self confidence. I feel I don’t have enough knowledge either. Therefore I will continue to try harder and become an excellent kindergarten teacher. Even thought I am not the best teacher yet, but I believe I will be one who tries the hardest.
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